Posted by: Lotta | December 23, 2010

And this is how it continued..

2 months ago I got a text sent to my phone, telling me that my phone number has been passed on to a tour operator based in Johannesburg. It came from a wonderful soul I’ve only met for 15 minutes while we had a transfer in Jo’burg on our way to Cape Town 3 months ago. The short meeting we had consisted solely of thoughts of life and our love for this country and were, obviously, long enough for us to in the end exchange numbers for a promised meeting once we both had found peace and settled in.

Anyways. The text was followed by a phone call from a company saying that they needed a translator for a Swedish tour group, which were already on the road. They could not find a Swedish guide, so they were going for an english speaking one and a puppet next to them who translated whatever came out of the guides mouth. That puppet was about to be me.

And so it began.

The morning after a petit woman with long rugged hair, glasses placed far down on her nose and with a broad South African accent picked me up, and she was smiling and laughing in between sentences I’ve had a really hard time understanding from time to time. We drove for hour after hour until we reached Oudshoorn where we found our group busy learning about ostriches and feathers. With no idea what I gave myself into we took on the group, which proved itself to be a challenge of a lifetime. Oh my GOD!!

The group was promised a swedish GUIDE. Not a person who speaks english in a way where they don’t understand her and a first time ever translator who 1. Never been to the places we were going to, 2. Had no idea on how this whole translation thing worked, 3. Barely understood the guide herself.

It was a complete disaster. I have never in my life felt so small, so confused, so stressed and lost. All meanwhile I was supposed to smile and make the best of a situation where nothing good could be done. It was hell. All I wanted to do was stop the bus, get out and walk all the way back to my safe ground back in Cape Town.
I can’t remember when I last found myself in such a stressful situation. When I last stood face to face with something I had never done before and where I had to just deal with it. Right there. No turning back or excuses. Face it, deal with it and make it happen. Felt like a bird trapped in a cage. I had no where to go and the enemy was right in my face. Horrifying. Different. Seriously disturbing, but real.

I then remembered my vision, my invisible extra luggage – it was about time to jump and see if I could fly.

And from nowhere I started looking at things differently. The situation was what it was, the only thing we all could do was make the absolute best of what we had, which was not much but still try with the pieces we had to play with. As with everything there is a first time, a beginning, a start. And usually those first stumbling steps you take in order to get your balance right is the worst, but also the ones that you need in order to continue moving forward. So I stumbled, I fell, I looked for things to hold onto, I got up for a little while only to find myself falling again and I did cry that first night because I felt like such an idiot.

I woke up the next morning, dreading the fact that I had to do it all over again. However, something had changed. Not too sure how but I felt stronger, more secure and I walked on that bus with my head a lot higher than the day before and all the sudden I was not falling anymore. I was flying, still a bit wobbly but flying.. And loving it.

Since that horrible first experience, since the tears and the humiliation I now talk about it as my future for a while. This fell in my lap from nowhere, without asking or questioning, and I had to fight myself in order to find out that this is what I am meant to be doing (at least for a while). It’s too much of a opportunity to let it go, to look the other way, to take it for granted and just brush it off my shoulders and move forward to nothing.

It’s time to start living a life where goals can be set for longer than just tomorrow. To see a future, fulfill dreams and really appreciate what is out there and inside myself and others. To breath the world and see the mesmerazing and beautiful moments we share and create. And yes, it’s a lot easier if the road is a little bit lit, and right now it sure feels like I can see more than I could before.

And the girl that started this whole circus? Unfortunately she’s still a stranger. Our meeting still has not taken place and we have had almost no contact, which is why I’m so amazed how such a short meeting now has changed my life in to directions I could never dream of. Just proves that there are pure souls out there, and that every meeting do happen for a reason – we just need to be open to it.

Love your life and the people in it, magic will happen!

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