You can slowly feel it.  It might not be here just yet, but a reminder of what is to come has started to make its presence.

It’s in the whisper of the wind, the soft fading of the leaves, in the morning mists gentle touch on our feet and the spectacular colors created with the suns earlier setting. The nights are getting colder and with that duvets are again taken out of closets and at last you can lay next to someone, adsorb the warmth of their skin, without over-heating.
Summer is checking out, one beautiful day after the other, and autumn is peeking around every corner.

However, the change in season is not only a change in nature. It’s not just the dramatic color display all around us, or the fresh air filled with clear scents or the shorter days that swaps its coating - you can also feel it in yourself, in others.
At  least I change with the  cooler winds.  I slow down with the less hours of daylight and I take more time to breath when the refreshing air reaches my lungs. My mind slowly gets lighter and my focus diverts to thinking forward, while still staying in the presence which summer has taught me to do, and I always find myself in deep thoughts about what has been and what is to come.

As summer slowly fades and autumn walks in the door, it’s time for change.
Always.
Every single year.

It’s lovely to yet again take a break from a season jam-packed with festivities, happenings, travels, late hours and early mornings, meetings and all the wonderful and beautiful things that a summer always brings. The memories is floating with me throughout the weeks and months to come and I know that new glorious ones will be created as I go along, so I am not sad that summer is over for now.
But the fact that I am yet again confused over which path I’m supposed to choose, what choices I should or should not take, what country I should go to or stay in is AGAIN haunting me.. The difficulty of staying in South Africa is becoming more and more clear and it’s now, as the seasons fade in to each other, that I have realized that I have no idea what is right and what is wrong.

I don’t know what to do. I need to figure that one out. I might need to clear my head of thoughts telling me to travel safe roads and instead  listen more to my heart telling me to discover paths not yet walked on. Whichever that is.

So yes. I am very much a summer girl, and I always have these questions lingering in my head. As soon as the flowing dresses are being neatly put back in to the closet, not to be taken out before the first signs of spring, the questions start popping up again and as much as they mess up my head they also help me on my way.

Because who would we be if we didn’t reach for change and if we never asked questions?

 

2010. All wrapped up and neatly placed on the shelves where all the other past years is collected, clearly visible but untouchable forever. What were is no longer and what is will be an adventure and surprise.

However, I’m not much of a person that believes in boxing time in to a year. I think i’ve mentioned before that i find it very ridiculous to plan your life after the 365 days we are given, where you always in the end of the year either feel happy because you accomplished what you had in mind, or you feel a bit miserable because you didn’t.
If you just see time as a long stretch of endless opportunities, where there is nothing that says you have to make it before the end of this or that, you’re disappointments would be far less than if you feel like you need to be something or change whatever before the year is over.

Really. Just relax.

Let things take its time, change does not happen over night and achievements are not worth less because they didn’t happen as fast as you expected, or wanted, them to.
2010 was a very lovely little year. So many happy times, memories and love stories. So many football matches, festivals and friends, all nestled together with endless nights of starry skies and amazing summer days.
We’ve laughed and we’ve cried, we’ve created images of our lives to bring with us to the future, and we’ve simply lived. And that’s what it’s all about in the end. As long as you’ve lived your life to the fullest, gave it your all, dreamed of the unreachable and loved to all your hearts content, then no regrets should be lingering in your head. None.

2011 has just started. It has just started.

Imagine all the amazing, wonderful, insightful and important people you are going to meet. All the magical moments and mesmerizing places your eyes will fall upon. Look for the beautiful feelings, and the invisible fairies that will guide you on your way. And close your eyes for a while and hear the whispering change sing in the soft light that is shining for you and us all.

I’m excited.

Got a great feeling about this, and it makes me smile!

Bring it on!

 

Some more Storypeople magic:

2 months ago I got a text sent to my phone, telling me that my phone number has been passed on to a tour operator based in Johannesburg. It came from a wonderful soul I’ve only met for 15 minutes while we had a transfer in Jo’burg on our way to Cape Town 3 months ago. The short meeting we had consisted solely of thoughts of life and our love for this country and were, obviously, long enough for us to in the end exchange numbers for a promised meeting once we both had found peace and settled in.

Anyways. The text was followed by a phone call from a company saying that they needed a translator for a Swedish tour group, which were already on the road. They could not find a Swedish guide, so they were going for an english speaking one and a puppet next to them who translated whatever came out of the guides mouth. That puppet was about to be me.

And so it began.

The morning after a petit woman with long rugged hair, glasses placed far down on her nose and with a broad South African accent picked me up, and she was smiling and laughing in between sentences I’ve had a really hard time understanding from time to time. We drove for hour after hour until we reached Oudshoorn where we found our group busy learning about ostriches and feathers. With no idea what I gave myself into we took on the group, which proved itself to be a challenge of a lifetime. Oh my GOD!!

The group was promised a swedish GUIDE. Not a person who speaks english in a way where they don’t understand her and a first time ever translator who 1. Never been to the places we were going to, 2. Had no idea on how this whole translation thing worked, 3. Barely understood the guide herself.

It was a complete disaster. I have never in my life felt so small, so confused, so stressed and lost. All meanwhile I was supposed to smile and make the best of a situation where nothing good could be done. It was hell. All I wanted to do was stop the bus, get out and walk all the way back to my safe ground back in Cape Town.
I can’t remember when I last found myself in such a stressful situation. When I last stood face to face with something I had never done before and where I had to just deal with it. Right there. No turning back or excuses. Face it, deal with it and make it happen. Felt like a bird trapped in a cage. I had no where to go and the enemy was right in my face. Horrifying. Different. Seriously disturbing, but real.

I then remembered my vision, my invisible extra luggage – it was about time to jump and see if I could fly.

And from nowhere I started looking at things differently. The situation was what it was, the only thing we all could do was make the absolute best of what we had, which was not much but still try with the pieces we had to play with. As with everything there is a first time, a beginning, a start. And usually those first stumbling steps you take in order to get your balance right is the worst, but also the ones that you need in order to continue moving forward. So I stumbled, I fell, I looked for things to hold onto, I got up for a little while only to find myself falling again and I did cry that first night because I felt like such an idiot.

I woke up the next morning, dreading the fact that I had to do it all over again. However, something had changed. Not too sure how but I felt stronger, more secure and I walked on that bus with my head a lot higher than the day before and all the sudden I was not falling anymore. I was flying, still a bit wobbly but flying.. And loving it.

Since that horrible first experience, since the tears and the humiliation I now talk about it as my future for a while. This fell in my lap from nowhere, without asking or questioning, and I had to fight myself in order to find out that this is what I am meant to be doing (at least for a while). It’s too much of a opportunity to let it go, to look the other way, to take it for granted and just brush it off my shoulders and move forward to nothing.

It’s time to start living a life where goals can be set for longer than just tomorrow. To see a future, fulfill dreams and really appreciate what is out there and inside myself and others. To breath the world and see the mesmerazing and beautiful moments we share and create. And yes, it’s a lot easier if the road is a little bit lit, and right now it sure feels like I can see more than I could before.

And the girl that started this whole circus? Unfortunately she’s still a stranger. Our meeting still has not taken place and we have had almost no contact, which is why I’m so amazed how such a short meeting now has changed my life in to directions I could never dream of. Just proves that there are pure souls out there, and that every meeting do happen for a reason – we just need to be open to it.

Love your life and the people in it, magic will happen!